Thursday, April 17, 2008

I HATE! When People De-Friend You on Facebook

I was a little hesitant to write on this particular topic because I don't really like to broadcast to the world how truly important Facebook is to my life. I'm a little embarrassed of how much time I spend (unintentionally) stalking people through Facebook.

The reason I bring this up is because, yesterday, I was perusing Facebook, just looking around, not cruising for any particular information on any particular person, when I stumbled upon the profile of an old flame. Actually, I didn't stumble upon it; Facebook now has a feature that shows you people you might know based on all the other people you're friends with (creeps, right?). So anyway, this fellow's picture popped up on the right-hand corner of my screen and I couldn't help myself, so I friended him. It wasn't until after I clicked the affirmative button to the question that said "Are you sure you want to friend so-and-so?", that I realized that we actually had previously been friends on Facebook (during our so-called affair), and that he had, in fact, de-friended me after things had ended kind of badly. Basically that "Are you sure?" button is there to prevent people from doing the exact idiotic thing that I had just done.

Then it occurred to me: de-friending someone on Facebook is low. Really low. You have to really really hate someone to de-friend them on Facebook, which is why I have decided that de-friending is definitely not an OK thing to do. It's just totally unnecessary. I remember when I noticed that I had been de-friended by the aforementioned boy; I was crushed and not because I was heart-broken over the end of our "romance". (OK, actually I will admit that that was, in fact, part of the reason why I was so upset, but that's not the point here!) But I wondered, did I disgust him so much that he couldn't even stand to look at my name when it popped up on his Mini Feed? Did he hate me to such a degree that he hated getting a notification that I had changed my profile picture?

De-friending someone on Facebook is the equivalent to saying: "I hate you. Never speak to me again. Your face repulses me." It's harsh! And unless, you really really mean it, you should never do it. It can leave scars.


Julie B said...

i've never been one to nit-pick, but honestly, if someone defriends you, isn't the social norm to just get drunk and send them a scathing message?

...or should i stop using alcohol to justify everything in my life?

Anonymous said...

Actually, I de-friended a couple of people on facebook. But I had good reason (I beleive). They were from elementary school, and we'd never really been good friends or anything. They invited me and then never EVER responded to my messages. After being ignored for 3 months I thought to myself, what is the point of this if they can't even say "hello!"? after all those years! I began to feel it was just that they were trying to get a bigger friends list (or maybe they wanted to know what was going on in my life without actual contact!).

I had invited another girl on and the same thing happened. I asked her a question and she didn't get back to me for months, while at the same time she was leaving little updates every single DAY. I just didn't get it and it sort of hurt my feelings, being ignored like that. When I told her about it, SHE DELETED ME!!! An old friend of mine from childhood (her mum and mine were BEST FRIENDS, and she used to call me her sister) became my friend on there but refused to even meet for a coffee because she was too busy with school, even though she went out with new friends all the time!

Other people on there that I had known really well and REALLY LIKED ignored my friends requests altogether -- even after we exchanged messages and EVEN met in person -- and I've no idea why! I'm not very fond of FB for things like this. And some people are just strange... Who knows!