Thursday, April 3, 2008

I HATE! Newspaper Hands

I guess this is something that no one can really control, unless the world's newspaper printers want to rethink the way they've been printing newspapers for hundreds of years. And while I can accept that fact that I may never see the change I so desire, I still do sincerely hate the ink residue that comes off on your hands as you leaf-through and read a newspaper.

It never matters what paper you're reading, when you finish leafing through your chosen periodical, you inevitably find that your hands are covered in a subtle, yet unmistakably annoying newspaper ink-film. This is a phenomenon that I have come to call "Newspaper Hands."

You can't wipe the ink-film off. It will inevitably stain your white shirt. It will leave a black mark on your face. (One that you will probably not even realize you made when you went to rub your eyes or scratch your nose and will remain there until someone is kind enough to tell you it's there. Is it obvious that I've walked around for hours with black smudges on my face and no one's bothered to tell me? I have - and it's embarrassing. Why wouldn't you tell a person something like that? Come on!? But that's an entirely different sitaution that should and probably will have it's own post.) Anyway...back on track - "Newspaper Hands" makes your hands feel dirty and gross - like you can't do anything with your hands until you've washed or Purelled them. It's like your paralyzed!

As annoying as it may be, this is one of the few pet peeves that I have been forced to come to terms with; I understand that printers will never stop using the materials they've been using since this country was founded (isn't the printing press one of the most revered colonial inventions or something like that?), but I do wish that every paper came attached with pair of gloves you could put on before reading - just like a at-home hair coloring kit. Think about it New York Times! I'd appreciate you so much more!

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