This is a post inspired by a particular 'friend' of a dear friend of mine. While I have never met this fellow, I dislike him an incredible amount as I do not approve of the way he speaks to this friend of mine. I also recall that he once ran away from my friend because he was chasing down one of his equally idiotic friends who had stolen his pizza - or something along those lines. Regardless, I am not writing to say that I hate him. I hate the fact that this fellow has one of the dumbest nicknames of all time. If someone called me what he is called all the time, I would move to another state and make a fresh start. It's that bad.
I will not reveal this fellow's real name or even his real nickname, but I will give you a comparable example. Let's say, for example, that this fellow's real name is John Jimmy Dean; his nickname, if created using the same process as the real-life nickname, would therefore be Sausagey. The real fellow has a nickname just as dumb and derived in a similarly retarded fashion.
So basically this kid's friends, girlfriends, and probably parents all call him Sausagey. Sausagey! Can you believe it? I hope to God that he doesn't think this is a cool nickname. I hope he doesn't take pride in being called it. I hope, for his sake (and I'm not even trying to be nice here), that the nickname fades as he grows into adulthood. If I had someone in my office nicknamed Sausagey, I would loose my shit every time I had to talk to him. I couldn't take him seriously. Hell, I don't think anyone takes him seriously now!
The message of this post is thus: if your name requires that a nickname be created in it's place, please make it funny or witty or at least not completely idiotic. I don't want to associate myself with anyone named Sausagey - or anyone with a similar nickname. It makes me look bad. And you? Forget about it, Sausagey!