Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I HATE! Utter Incompetence

Below is recent a post from

Someone please make these people go away already!

In response to all of Levi Johnston's fame-humping, Sarah Palin's father, Chuck Heath, is basically calling Levi a deadbeat dad.

In a new interview, Heath says, "I don't agree with what he's doing right now. It's not right. He's broke, so he's trying to capitalize on this. I wish he’d take some of this money he’s making and buy some diapers with it."


Doesn't the government pay for all of Sexy Sarah's stuff?
Jesus, someone needs to slap this asshole. Please note the first sentence of his post - I've bolded and italicized it for your reading convenience. His first sentence is: "Someone please make these people go away already!", referring to family of Alaskan governor Sarah Palin and more specifically the now ongoing feud between Palin's daughter Bristol and her baby-daddy, some high school burnout. But honestly, how f-ing retarded do you need to be to miss the fact that through the very act of posting anything about the Palins on his website, the Faux Hilton is, in fact, perpetuating the Palin's media prevalence and encouraging their truly tacky behavior? He is so transparent and thick-headed it makes me sick.

Believe me - I am just as sick of the Palins as everyone else (I cannot think of a family less-deserving of public interest), but I don't use that exhaustion as fodder to promote myself and my business enterprises. Faux Hilton is the first person to sound the trumpet and complain when certain celebrities and public figures (i.e. the Palins) are beginning to overstay their welcome in the public eye and the media, but it is his complaining that is actually keeping these life-sucking stories in the headlines! DUH! How incompetent can you be???????

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I HATE! People Who REALLY Want Other People to Think That They're Important

I haven't ever really mentioned this before as I feel like it's ultimately going to get me into some sort of trouble, but the tidbit I'm about to reveal is integral to my story, so here goes... I work for a major entertainment company. (Kind of anti-climactic, right?) Anyway, the building in which my office is located also happens to house a lot of other entertainment / media entities so there are always a bunch of actor-types and 'famous people' running around willy-nilly. You never know when you're going to encounter someone recognizable. Whatever. I'm over it. It's fine. But OBVIOUSLY, if you work in the building, you're aware of the likeliness of a celebrity encounter and, speaking from personal experience here, you are probably jaded by the possibility. In other words, no one has knocked my socks off... yet. (If I ever run into James Franco though, that might change everything... my WHOLE perspective on shit.)

So on to the story: I'm in the basement of the building, hurriedly trying to decide what I want for lunch. As I'm walking down the corridor (which, around lunch time, always becomes somewhat of a mob scene) trying desperately to bob and weave around the hoards of oblivious tourists, I walked by a girl - probably around my age, tall-ish, cute, and exuding the I-desperately-want-everyone-to-think-I'm important vibe - chatting obnoxiously loud on her cell phone. Of course, that last bit about her being desperate was my own immediate personal judgment, but as I came into closer range, she proved herself true to my initial assessment. Her exact quote was as follows, "I just ran into Bill Hader. He is the coolest dude."

Without trying to sound smug, I think what she meant to say was, "I just saw Bill Hader in Hale & Hearty and I almost peed my pants. I was too dumbfounded to speak to him, but I just saw him and I had to call you right away to tell you because this is just so damn exciting. Highlight of my month for sure, but I'm going to pretend that Bill and I are chill so I can wow all these tourists." I love how this chick makes it seem, as she speaks more-than-audibly on her cell phone in an area impossibly crowded with extremely impressionable out-of-towners, that she is friends with Bill Hader, SNL cast member. I would bet my entire annual salary that bitch does not know Bill Hader, not even a little bit.

I really just hate it when people try to exude importance, when in fact, they have none. Even though I work in entertainment (an industry one might consider to be fast-paced and glamorous), I know I am not important. There is nothing glamorous about what I do and I know it. I don't need to try to impress strangers with tales of celebrity run-ins. I would never elevate my career status or name drop the monikers of people to whom I have absolutely no relation or intimate knowledge of in order to make people think I'm more important than I am. It's exhausting and frankly, extremely transparent. And to be perfectly honest, as I walked past the girl on the phone, the 'friend' of Bill Hader, I smiled smugly to myself because I knew, I just knew, that she was embellishing her story. Let's talk about o-b-v-i-o-u-s.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I HATE! Subway Stairwell Rushers

Each morning, I descend the stairs that lead into the subterranean train system that we here in New York fondly refer to as the subway. And almost every morning, I find that a fellow commuter is in such a rush to get down to the platform that he or she practically knocks me over in the stairwell despite the fact that the train is not (nor is even close to) pulling into the station.

This - as you can imagine - drives me absolutely bonkers. First of all, let's consider how common sense might play into this scenario. Why run down the stairs - stairs which are narrow, often slippery, littered with garbage and pools of standing water - and risk falling on your ass? But more importantly, why rush down the stairs when the train isn't even coming? You can determine whether the train is approaching from above ground, so if it's obviously not, why is it necessary to push other commuters out of the way in order to get down to the platform?

It gives me anxiety - unnecessary anxiety - to hear someone's hurried footsteps approaching as I cautiously make my way down the stairs into the station. If the train is coming, I assure you, I'll be rushing too, but if there's radio silence, frankly, you rushing up behind me really makes me want to trip you and watch as you tumble down the concrete stairs. (Honesty is the best policy!)

I just don't understand why people need to rush when there is no train to rush for. I know taking the subway is an exciting experience - loud noises, fast trains, lots of people - but you'd think New Yorkers would be able to contain their excitement and maintain a bit of composure. Pushing? A bit 3rd grade, don't you think?