I HATE! People Who REALLY Want Other People to Think That They're Important

I haven't ever really mentioned this before as I feel like it's ultimately going to get me into some sort of trouble, but the tidbit I'm about to reveal is integral to my story, so here goes... I work for a major entertainment company. (Kind of anti-climactic, right?) Anyway, the building in which my office is located also happens to house a lot of other entertainment / media entities so there are always a bunch of actor-types and 'famous people' running around willy-nilly. You never know when you're going to encounter someone recognizable. Whatever. I'm over it. It's fine. But OBVIOUSLY, if you work in the building, you're aware of the likeliness of a celebrity encounter and, speaking from personal experience here, you are probably jaded by the possibility. In other words, no one has knocked my socks off... yet. (If I ever run into James Franco though, that might change everything... my WHOLE perspective on shit.)

So on to the story: I'm in the basement of the building, hurriedly trying to decide what I want for lunch. As I'm walking down the corridor (which, around lunch time, always becomes somewhat of a mob scene) trying desperately to bob and weave around the hoards of oblivious tourists, I walked by a girl - probably around my age, tall-ish, cute, and exuding the I-desperately-want-everyone-to-think-I'm important vibe - chatting obnoxiously loud on her cell phone. Of course, that last bit about her being desperate was my own immediate personal judgment, but as I came into closer range, she proved herself true to my initial assessment. Her exact quote was as follows, "I just ran into Bill Hader. He is the coolest dude."

Without trying to sound smug, I think what she meant to say was, "I just saw Bill Hader in Hale & Hearty and I almost peed my pants. I was too dumbfounded to speak to him, but I just saw him and I had to call you right away to tell you because this is just so damn exciting. Highlight of my month for sure, but I'm going to pretend that Bill and I are chill so I can wow all these tourists." I love how this chick makes it seem, as she speaks more-than-audibly on her cell phone in an area impossibly crowded with extremely impressionable out-of-towners, that she is friends with Bill Hader, SNL cast member. I would bet my entire annual salary that bitch does not know Bill Hader, not even a little bit.

I really just hate it when people try to exude importance, when in fact, they have none. Even though I work in entertainment (an industry one might consider to be fast-paced and glamorous), I know I am not important. There is nothing glamorous about what I do and I know it. I don't need to try to impress strangers with tales of celebrity run-ins. I would never elevate my career status or name drop the monikers of people to whom I have absolutely no relation or intimate knowledge of in order to make people think I'm more important than I am. It's exhausting and frankly, extremely transparent. And to be perfectly honest, as I walked past the girl on the phone, the 'friend' of Bill Hader, I smiled smugly to myself because I knew, I just knew, that she was embellishing her story. Let's talk about o-b-v-i-o-u-s.

I HATE! Flakes (A Guest Post by Elizabeth Demas)

Since it has come to my attention that I am not the only one who often harbors inexplicably intense and adamant hatred toward specific entities, actions, and people, I have decided to open this blog to guest posts.

Don't worry, there certainly are some stipulations to this new feature. I can't just be having any Johnny Whatshisfacewhoiprobablyhate blogging on this site. Oooooooh no. Guest posts are limited to only those posts that I agree with and only ones written by people I like.

Below, you will find a particularly poignant post articulated by a dear friend of mine, Elizabeth Demas.


I hate tardiness, when people do not show up, don't return calls, texts, BBMs, emails, or don't RSVP. If there is one thing that I find to be excessively unpleasant, it is flakiness. To the perpetrator it may seem like an innocuous blunder, but to me, being unreliable is a fatal flaw, an Achilles heel if you will. It is the antithesis of decorum! If you can't muster up the decency to return a phone call or text, etc. then why do you have a cell phone? Stop saving your rollover minutes and call a bitch back.


Also, don't lie and say, "Ohhh, I never got your text." First of all, unless you still carry around your father's 28 ounce 1984 Motorola DynaTAC phone, you didn't lose my text; it didn't get slipped under a rug anywhere or get dropped between a sidewalk grate. Now, if you had any manners, you would kindly tell the person, "I am sorry; I made other plans", or, put it bluntly, "I don't like hanging out with you." Cut out the middleman, after all, isn't it better than hearing the same guilty pleasure song blasting from your cell phone over and over again or the excessive chirp of your text inbox.


Also, it really irks me when you make plans with a group of people, and one or two people do not show. Instead, they constantly text or BBM you all night asking you your whereabouts, but never actually show. Don't bother me when I am trying to have a drink. Seriously. The last thing I want to do is be typing over and over again the same address of a bar we made plans to go to 48 hours ago. All I want to concentrate on at that particular moment is drinking my Blue Moon, perfectly garnished with an orange slice.


Indeed, the irritation of a flake knows no bounds when it comes to my personal life. I always try to be on time and respond to people. In fact, it's one of the very few times I EVER adhere to a facet of the golden rule, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you." --ED