Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I HATE! Flakes (A Guest Post by Elizabeth Demas)

Since it has come to my attention that I am not the only one who often harbors inexplicably intense and adamant hatred toward specific entities, actions, and people, I have decided to open this blog to guest posts.

Don't worry, there certainly are some stipulations to this new feature. I can't just be having any Johnny Whatshisfacewhoiprobablyhate blogging on this site. Oooooooh no. Guest posts are limited to only those posts that I agree with and only ones written by people I like.

Below, you will find a particularly poignant post articulated by a dear friend of mine, Elizabeth Demas.

I hate tardiness, when people do not show up, don't return calls, texts, BBMs, emails, or don't RSVP. If there is one thing that I find to be excessively unpleasant, it is flakiness. To the perpetrator it may seem like an innocuous blunder, but to me, being unreliable is a fatal flaw, an Achilles heel if you will. It is the antithesis of decorum! If you can't muster up the decency to return a phone call or text, etc. then why do you have a cell phone? Stop saving your rollover minutes and call a bitch back.

Also, don't lie and say, "Ohhh, I never got your text." First of all, unless you still carry around your father's 28 ounce 1984 Motorola DynaTAC phone, you didn't lose my text; it didn't get slipped under a rug anywhere or get dropped between a sidewalk grate. Now, if you had any manners, you would kindly tell the person, "I am sorry; I made other plans", or, put it bluntly, "I don't like hanging out with you." Cut out the middleman, after all, isn't it better than hearing the same guilty pleasure song blasting from your cell phone over and over again or the excessive chirp of your text inbox.

Also, it really irks me when you make plans with a group of people, and one or two people do not show. Instead, they constantly text or BBM you all night asking you your whereabouts, but never actually show. Don't bother me when I am trying to have a drink. Seriously. The last thing I want to do is be typing over and over again the same address of a bar we made plans to go to 48 hours ago. All I want to concentrate on at that particular moment is drinking my Blue Moon, perfectly garnished with an orange slice.

Indeed, the irritation of a flake knows no bounds when it comes to my personal life. I always try to be on time and respond to people. In fact, it's one of the very few times I EVER adhere to a facet of the golden rule, "do unto others as you would have others do unto you." --ED

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