Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I HATE! Inappropriate Use of Text Message Abbreviations in Non -Text Settings and AIM -Speak in General

emdemas3: kewl

emdemas3: hahahaha

emdemas3: i HATE when people type kewl

emdemas3: and skool

emdemas3: and l8r h8r

This past weekend, my roommate and I had the pleasure of watching a film which should be considered by all to be a truly significant piece of cinematic brilliance: Bring it On: All or Nothing starring Hayden "I have really fat upper arms for such a tiny girl" Panetierre and Solange "I know this is as good as it's going to get for me" Knowles - Smith. Really an excellent, excellent film.

Anyway, I'm sure you know what the basic premise of this movie is: blonde cheerleader (Panties) leaves perfect high school scenario (head cheeleader, quarterback boyfriend, baby blue convertible VW Bug) when her father get's demoted (or something like that, I wasn't 100% sure what was actually happening here) to a job based in minority-centric part of town. Said blonde cheerleader is, initially, taunted by and at odds with the head cheerleader at her new, more ethnically diverse school (cue Beyonce's sister), but then, the two realize they can work together to kick Blondie's old team's asses (oh, Blondie's old friends and boyfriend all turn out to be skanks, basically) in a cheerleading competition hosted by Rihanna (clearly, her appearance in this film is something Rihanna undoubtedly regrets now that she has achieved multi-platinum success).

So, that, in a nutshell is the jyst. Moving on to my actual point. In Bring it On: All or Nothing, Panties and her troup of blonde lollipop-headed cheerleaders speak in text message. Yep, you heard me right; the entire first half of the movie (until Panties move to Crenshaw or whereever), consists of a rapid crossfire of "BRB!," "TTYL," "LMAO," and "OMG" as if these phrases were everyday speak. Jesus, it sounds ridiculous.

Watching that little gem of cinematic magic got me thinking about the use of AIM and text abbreviations, which are both equally unacceptable. When you're writing me a text or an AIM, do not write "kewl" - first of all, it looks like you can't spell and secondly, i thought the purpose of text and AIM abbrevs was so you could shorten the word and wouldn't have to type as many letters. "Kewl" and "cool" HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS, dumbass! Thirdly, anyone who types "kewl" is automatically an A-Grade Douchebag.

While typing "skool" may save you the trouble of typing one extra letter, let's be serious, the time you save by doing this, does, in no way, balance out how retarded people assume you are because you typed "sckool" instead of "school". Moral: take the extra second to type the "ch". I promise, it'll make you a winner in life.

Finally, I have no comment on "l8r" an "h8r". I will never, ever, in my life spell a word using a letter to lessen the number of strokes I have to make on the text keypad. Yes, "l8r" is quicker to type, but boy oh boy, do you look dumb.

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