Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I HATE! People Who Are Loud at Inopportune Times and in Small Spaces

There is a high-level executive in my office that cackles at the top of her lungs several times an hour, every hour, every day. I can hear her all the way down the hall. I jump in my desk chair every time her shrill laughter pierces the air.

Similarly, one of my former roommates could not be quiet if someone bound her mouth shut. I have had to sleep with ear plugs in my ears to drown out the sound of her screaming obscenities at the television late at night. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, she simply did not know how to keep the volume of her voice to a minimum – not even when she was making herself breakfast in the kitchen, which was right next to my room, at 7 AM on a Saturday morning.

Unless there’s a medical condition that I am not aware of, a person should be able to control the volume of his or her voice, and adjust it as appropriate from situation to situation. For example: I do not want to hear from the opposite end of the subway car what your boyfriend said to you when he dumped your ass for another woman. Likewise, I don’t want to hear every little bit of the cell phone conversation you’re having with your co-worker about how horrible your boss is while waiting behind you in the make-your-own-salad line. Similarly, I don’t want to listen to you as you practice the song for your audition tomorrow at the top of your lungs at 1 AM. And I certainly don’t want to hear (from down the hall with my door closed) whatever it is that you’re yelling at the TV about this time.

I have no problem with loud - at the right time. You're at a football game? Be as loud as you want when hurling insults at the opposing team's fans! I love it. You're at a concert? Go nuts screaming at the top of your lungs for that aging former 80s heartthrob. Be my guest! You're wasted and dancing on the top of a table at an out-of-control house party? Let loose and as loudly as possible yell to your pal on the other side of the house to come join you. I have no problem with that! Hell - I'll join you on top of that table.

Those are perfect examples of opportune times to be loud. But I always seem to situate myself next to the guy who is excitedly trying to close the most important deal of his life on his cell phone in a tiny and packed elevator.

I just wish that people would realize that it's not appropriate or appreciated to be loud in a small space. This is not good for anyone's eardrums. It's just like people who drive around with their stereos turned all the way up with their windows up and you, all the way down the street in another car, are pained by the loudness of this music and intensity of the bass. How do those guys even survive driving around like that? They have to be deaf.

Eureka! Maybe volume-control issues are actually a sign that a person is partially or fully deaf? Scientific breakthrough, perhaps?

See, this blog is actually helping to benefit humankind.


KGirl said...

I hate to call you out as a hypocrite again, but I'm pretty sure we blasted Angie, Eminem, Janet Jackson and a whole slew of other artists with driving around CH in your Jeep in high school...and I know we blasted them from the Aztec...

Good thing I'm around to keep you honest

Liz Bannan said...

Stop blowing up most spot!