Monday, April 7, 2008

I HATE! Matching Velour Track Suits

eccentrichic: im going to work but how about matching track suits?
Kelirish18: please elaborate on this matching track suits thing
eccentrichic: like juicy couture
eccentrichic: the velour matching situation
Kelirish18: yES!
Kelirish18: thanks for reminding me that i hate that

As you can see from the above AIM conversation excerpt, I definitely hate matching velour sweatsuits. Let me clarify before I get fully entrenched into my rant: I only hate velour sweatsuits - not ALL sweatsuits. I fully believe in the power of a good sweatsuit; I just have a particulary deep (and unexplainable) hatred for velour in general. (Which is why I posted the above photo of this particulary heinous matching velour gymnastics outfit - You didn't know velour could be so disturbing, did you?)

I can't even put my finger on what it is about velour exactly that makes me want to vomit, but everytime I see any article of clothing comprised primarily of velour, my gag reflex kicks into overdrive. (Just imagine my horror upon once catching a glimpse of a woman traipsing the streets of New York wearing VELOUR LEGGINGS!)

So as you can imagine, matching velour sweatsuits are a no-no in my book. There's absolutely no need for anyone (no matter how JAPpy you are) to be decked out in velour. Do you want to look like a giant stuffed animal - specifically the Velvetine Rabbit? Being covered head-to-toe in a bright pink shade of that horrid fabric is simply not natural. You look like a pipe cleaner. Do you want children to come up to you and try to bend you in all sorts of fun ways? No? Well, ditch the velour tracksuit. You look dumb. Velour is disgusting. Plain and simple. (I'm speaking directly to you, Paris Hilton.)

Oh, and crushed velvet and velour are one in the same. Let's not split hairs.


KGirl said...

Liz, I do believe you own a black Hard Tail velour hoodie, do you not??? Salty...

Liz Bannan said...

and you'll recall how i lamented about buying it because i don't like velour.

Julie B said...

pipe cleaner...genius...

KGirl said...

Yes, but you bought it cant pull anything over on me- I have an iron clad wardrobe memory