I HATE! Celebrities Who Think They Can Design Clothes Just Because They're Celebrities

Just because you're a celebrity does not mean that you have the chops to design a good clothing line. I feel like every day we hear about a new celebrity who has been given carte blanche by some dumb company to create their own clothing, shoe, or jewelery line. This drives me absolutely crazy! Celebrity does not automatically equal good designer. A good designer has gone to design school and has learned about fit, patterns, wearability, practically, and materials.

What do you know about design Heidi Montag, Amanda Bynes, Jennifer Lopez or Paris Hilton? Clearly nothing. Has anyone ever taken a peek at the so-called fashion line Just Sweet designed by J. Lo? Everything in the line looks like it was carved out of the same huge piece of shiny purple polyester. I had the unfortunate experience of accidentally brushing up against one of J. Lo's polyester tent dresses and instantaneously developed a rash from the sheer cheapness of the fabric. 

Paris Hilton's shoe line? Even though I understand that women with larger feet often have trouble finding shoes in their size (a good idea in theory, Paris), let's be real here: a stripper wouldn't even wear Paris' shoes. The line boasts enough Lucite to put the dressing room at Scores to shame. 

And we all heard the reviews of Heidi Montag's (who, by the way, I refuse to admit is a celebrity - waste of space is more like it) line Heidiwood, haven't we? An excerpt from New York Magazine:

"No self-respecting grown woman should allow herself to be seen in these garments. Only two of the twelve items have sleeves, and just one — a pair of jeans — extends past mid-thigh. In fact, only one other thing extends past the upper thigh: a dress that would have been mildly acceptable had it not been made from the kind of cotton you usually only see on Target’s discount panties."

Believe you me, that wasn't even the worst of it. There's a reason why your clothes are only sold at Anchor Blue, Heidi: they're shiteous. Truly heinous. I would compare the quality to Joyce Leslie, Mandee, or Wet Seal.  But what's worse, Heidiwood boasts overpriced versions of clothes found at Joyce Leslie, Mandee, and Wet Seal.  And as the writers of the above NY Mag article noted, no self-respecting woman would be caught dead in anything from the Heidiwood collection. The reviews might seem harsh, but if you had gone to design school before attempting to 'design' your own line, the clothes would probably have been launched to better reviews.

Maybe so many celebrities are given their own clothing lines because so many people try to emulate the way celebrities dress. But I'll let you in on a little secret: celebrities are dressed by stylists. Celebrities' styles are created by stylists. Celebrities don't dress themselves! The stylists should be the ones given the clothing lines. They know about fashion!  They're stylists!

And another question: do we actually think that the celebrities would where their own lines? Absolutely not! And you want to know why? Because celebrity lines are watered-down, cheaply-made versions of the clothes they wear. We're talking obvious emulations of last season's Dolce & Gabanna, Fendi, and Marc Jacobs designs that celebrity stylists picked out for stars to wear several award shows ago.  The celebrity is not concerned with creating well-designed, good quality clothes; a hastily-designed clothing line allows a celebrity to add the title of 'designer' to their resume. You better believe that that's the only reason celebrities do it.