I HATE! Unrelenting Boredom

Have you ever had one of those days where you're so bored that the Internet can't even keep you entertained? Well, that's what today has been like for me. After busying myself with several tasks this morning, I found that, by lunch time, I was out of things to do. Yes, out of things to do. For once, my office was calm. No phones were ringing. There was no one for me to assist. I organized. I cleaned. I even did the stuff I normally put off doing. I painted my nails for Christ's sake - in the office!

After killing time, making my way down to the cafeteria as slowly as humanly possible and leisurely walking back and forth in front of the salad bar a half dozen times, pondering whether to get the soup or the tortellini, I found myself back upstairs, sitting at my desk staring off into space while twirling my hair. What to do, what to do? I had checked my go-to gossip blogs only a few moments ago - nothing new to report. My news sites (one from each side of the political spectrum) were also, sadly, without updates. Nothing new on the AP wire? How is that even possible? No new emails - in any of my 4 email accounts. I even went ahead and deleted a bunch of old emails in an attempt to kill time while simultaneously trying to tidy up and be productive. I read the newspapers I usually save for my train home. I perused hundreds of photos of celebrities from the Cannes Film Festival and the Sex and the City movie premiere and internally critiqued each and every fashion choice. (Fabulous or fashion roadkill? It was all for me to decide!) I even went as far as to look up things I had always wondered about...just for kicks - i.e. how to cook an artichoke (I've been wondering about that for a while - and now I know!) I finally resorted to having Wiki present me with random articles. But alas, I still found myself laying my head down on my desk. Isn't it sad when the Internet - the world wide web for God's sake - can't even cure my boredom?

I must have had 7 cups of coffee just so I could venture down the hall to the pantry to kill some time. And get this - I even volunteered to go down the street to pick up my boss' prescriptions at the pharmacy! Clearly, you can imagine how desperate I was to get out of the office and away from the monotony of staring at the same news article about how a British boy managed to skewer himself on a set of dried-out shark teeth while sleepwalking on Foxnews.com.