I HATE! Rat Tails

First of all, I know it's been F-O-R-E-V-E-R since I've posted anything, and I apologize for that, but I am consumed with my second point, which is that I can't believe I hadn't thought about posting on rat tails before now!

Seriously, I will go into epileptic shock if rat tails make a comeback. No need to be alarmed - I have no official confirmation that the rat tail is on it's way back in. The possible re-insertion of the rat tail came to my attention yesterday as I was casually strolling home from brunch - I was walking behind a very well-dressed Asian fellow - one of those uber-trendy skinny-jean-wearing kind of guys. I was admiring his well coordinated outfit and impeccably-coiffed hair when I noticed the rat tail - it was pretty hard to notice, as it was partially hidden by his popped collar, but still, there it was: a miniature pony-tail seemingly blooming from the base of his pretty standard man haircut. Instantaneously, all of my previous admiration went out the door. The rat tail is a deal breaker. Done deal. No going back.

I think I have such a problem with the rat tail because I was exposed to way too many of them as a child. Let me explain: I grew up in a very progressive and liberal (and to my dismay, kind of hippie-ish and granola-y) neighborhood and I am not joking when I say that almost every little boy I saw running around the 'hood was sporting a rat tail. Seriously, I gag a little every time I see a rat tail - whether it be on a little granola boy or a trendy Asian guy - the rat tail conjures up images of Birkenstocks and white people with dreadlocks and grossness. What is the appeal? It's not even a practical haircut! That tail could get caught in an escalator or in a revolving door or a car window. Impractical and dangerous! AND do you know how easy it would be to cut someones rat tail off without them even noticing (a scenario I have definitely contemplated on numerous occasions)?

Maybe someone could explain it to me because the only thought that comes to my mind when I see a rat tail is U-G-L-Y!

P.S. There is also something a little white-trash about a rat tail (see photo above), which obviously, does not improve my opinion of the hairstyle.

I HATE! White People with Dreadlocks

So I can't believe I didn't think about this earlier - I really hate white people who wear their hair in dreads. And I'm going to get right to the point here and not dilly-dally around the root of the issue. Dreads on white people are really gross because the texture of white people's hair makes their hair look dirty more or less after one day of not washing it. That's the reality. The texture just does not accommodate this look. If you're white and you wear dreads, your hair will inevitably look dirty, greasy, and unkempt (I get that that's kind of the intention with dreadlocks, but white people hair looks particuarly bad when left unbrushed for 11 months.)

I, for one, could never wear dreads, even if I wanted to, because (let me give you an example) my hair will be dirty by the time I wake up in the morning even if I've washed it the night before. So just imagine what that would look like a million times over: pretty grim, isn't it? By the time my hair would even form the dreads (if it could even do that is debatable because my hair is so freaking thin), there would most definitely be animals or insects nesting there and/or an oil slick would have developed. It's really an unattractive concept.

And I am all for self-expression, etc., but I also can't help feeling that white people with dreads are trying to present an image of themselves as something that they're not. Disagree if you will, but most of the whities with dreads that I've met have all turned out to be HUGE posers. Maybe it's just those few who sully the good name for the rest of the white-dread-wearers; maybe not, but I am going to stand firm on my belief that white people should stay away from dreads at all cost. There's just something icky about it - both to look at and the general vibe that it gives off.