Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I HATE! Hair Flippers

I'm having a bad day. You see, I'm feeling a bit down and since nothing seems to be helping to cheer me up, I have decided that some good old fashioned hating is the only thing that might do the trick.

And please note: what I'm about to write about here is not what is actually getting me down. I just don't want anyone thinking that the hair flipper I encountered on the subway yesterday is making me re-think my whole life. Just know that this venting session is purely a cathartic measure and is in no way related to my temporary depression.

And now for the story: as per my usual routine, I boarded the D train in Columbus Circle yesterday evening to begin my lengthy commute back to the BK. Everything was peachy keen until we stopped at West 4th. A predictably-dressed NYU-looking girl (you know the type - long stringy blond hair, short and raggedy cut-off shorts, the overly saturated Ray Bans, long grandpa cardigan, and chain with an insignificant, over-sized, and indistinguishable mass of charms) got on the train and (of course) nudged her way into the empty (although barely) seat between me and another passenger. Normally, I'd complain about her wedging herself into that particular seat (if you've read this site before, you know how I feel about that middle seat), but she was tiny (of course!) and wasn't touching me at all, so I took a breath and just let it be.

We're riding, riding, riding along. I'm minding my own business, reading my newspapers when all of a sudden, I get smacked in the face with a long strand of blond hair. Oh no she didn't. I had just given her a break. I didn't get angry when she ignored my death stares and sat down, carefreely, in the empty middle seat. And now this? The girl had literally flipped her hair INTO MY FACE! Can you believe it? And guess what? She kept doing it. 4 times, yes 4 times, I was hit in the face by that stringy blond hair. In retrospect, I should have punched her in the face - obvi. But I didn't, so I gave her my best 'you'd-better-stop-doing-that-before-I-rip-that-hair-out-of-your-faux-hipster-head' look.

Eventually, she got the hint (and looked mighty relieved when I vacated my seat as we neared my stop). But seriously, ladies please! No one wants strands of someone else's hair on them - no matter how good your shampoo smells. Forreal. Hair other than your own is gross. Period. Just think; there could be all sorts of gross and contagious conditions being bred in your hair - lice, dandruff, alopecia... Keep the hair flipping to a minimum. It's a matter of public health.

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