Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I HATE! Muffin Top

After being sent the link to the picture above by a dear friend of mine, the following AIM conversation ensued:

Kelirish18: yes - that's some really bad muffin top

emdemas3: yeah

emdemas3: like turbo

Kelirish18: i would like to write about it

emdemas3: i think you should

Kelirish18: although muffin top that severe is kind of it's own punishment

emdemas3: yes

Kelirish18: i am also going to use these last few AIMs to introduce my point

Kelirish18: do you consent?

emdemas3: si

Muffin top...how to describe it? Pretend you can't see the picture I posted at the top of this entry. Muffin top has been described (by William Safire in The New York Times Magazine) as "the roll of excess flesh spilling out primarily in front but possibly all around" of the top of one's pants. This means your pants are too tight, although by some miracle, you have been able to button them, but the fat that you couldn't squeeze into the pants overflows out of the top of the waistband.

You know, we've all been there. I'm not going to completely condemn anyone who occasionally sports a bit of muffin top. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes you put on a pair of jeans you haven't worn in a while only to discover that you've gained a little weight around the middle. This can cause muffin top. Or sometimes your pants slide down from wear and all of a sudden - presto! - muffin top has been magically created.

I'm the first one to admit that in high school, I often tried to squeeze myself into pants that were a little bit too small for me. (The painted-on pants look was big circa 1999 - 2003.) This is the most common cause of the muffin top and usually causes the most severe kind. See the photo above for a perfect example. But look, the reason I really hate muffin top is because a) it looks icky, especially when the muffin-topper's shirt is also simultaneously riding up to expose said muffin top and b) because muffin top can be easily remedied with a bigger pair of pants.
And don't tell me you can't bear to admit that you've grown width-wise. I know it hurts to go up a pants size. Admittedly, I've been known to refuse to buy clothes if I can't fit into the size I think I should normally wear. But seriously, if the size you think you should normally wear causes the muffin top effect pictured above, it's time to admit you need to go up a size... or a couple sizes.
And if you refuse to admit to yourself that you need the next size up, do what I do - cut the size tag out. Believe me, you'll be doing us ALL a favor.

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