I HATE! The Blocking of the Box

Have you ever noticed those 'Don't Block the Box' signs? I sure have and let me tell you that I hate hate hate hate when people block the box! For those of you who are unaware of the meaning of 'Don't Block the Box', please see the visual below.

The 'Box' in this particular circumstance, refers to the actual area of intersection between two streets, usually flanked on all four sides by traffic lights. Often times, overzealous drivers will pull their cars too far into the intersection when the light is red, thus 'blocking' the aforementioned box and in the same swift motion, these cars block the crosswalk for pedestrians attempting to cross the street. See that X in the street sign above? That X signifies no entry into that zone. And those dozens of little lines all situated right next to each other? Those represent the pedestrian crosswalks - PEDESTRIAN CROSSWALKS - they are not meant to be occupied by vehicles stopped at the red light.

Not very difficult to comprehend, right? Wrong! I can't even tell you how many times I've tried to cross the street, but have been unsuccessful because my efforts have been thwarted by overzealous drivers that pull up into the intersection! Jesus! Pulling all the way up into the intersection is not going to make the red light turn green any faster. You're not going to shave off more than a few seconds from your commute by racing up the light and slamming on your breaks. I promise that you will still get through the intersection when the light finally does turn green, even if you pull up (god forbid!) behind the crosswalk instead of in the middle of the intersection.

You may be thinking - 'Elizabeth, why is this such a big deal? You don't have a car in New York City! Why are you bemoaning this so?' Let me assure you, oh patient reader, this is a big deal. As a faithful New York City pedestrian and frequent cross-walker, I find it appalling, and frankly, fucking ANNOYING, when cars sit at a light in the middle of the cross walk. Not only is it dangerous for other drivers coming in the perpendicular direction, but it eradicates any safe place for pedestrians to cross the street. And, it's really f-ing annoying to have to weave in and out in between cars just to get to the other side of the street.

I have been very tempted, when being forced to weave in between the various vehicles blocking my crosswalk, to bang on people's hoods and/or throw rocks at people's windshields. And I've come damn close let me tell you.

I HATE! Slow Walkers

I just noticed that I am a member of a Facebook group called 'I Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Head'. And it's totally true. I would indeed like to punch slow-walkers in the back of the head. I don't know what it is about slow things that I hate, but I really do seem to abhor them, don't I? First slow drivers and now this.

But make no mistake; this is no fly-by-night hatred that I'm expressing here. I have always hated people who walk too slow. That's probably because I am always in a rush. I am also a speed walker and slow-walkers just get in my way when I'm trying to get somewhere fast - which, as we just discussed, is always.

My opinion on this issue is similar to my opinion on slow drivers. Be slow, that's fine, but don't obstruct other people's paths in the process. Stay along the side of the sidewalk or street and allow others to pass you. Don't meander along, zig-zagging as if you're the only pedestrian on the New York City sidewalks. People are trying to get around you!

I really hate when I'm stuck behind a slow-walker, but can't go around them because there is an equally slow person coming toward you on the opposite side of the sidewalk. I feel trapped! I get panicky! If you're going to mosey along, just stick to the right side of the sidewalk. It works the same way it works when you're in a car; you stay to the right side of the road, and if you choose to pass, you, momentarily as you pass, move into the left lane to do so. For some reason, on the sidewalks, people feel as if they have license to go back and forth between the different sides of the sidewalk - NO! People seriously have a great deal of difficulty adhering to the simple unspoken rules of the concrete jungle. Everyone knows you're supposed to stay on the right hand side of the sidewalk, but most do not abide by this. Why? How hard is it to do this?????

Side note: If you're walking along and you suddenly stop, I am probably going to walk into you (on purpose). Don't stop suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. For example, if you were in a car and you suddenly braked, the person behind you would most certainly rear-end you and fuck up your car...badly. Use that as your model. If you must stop to admire the view, tie your shoe, or scratch your ass, move over to the side and GET OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WAY!