I HATE! Denim on Denim

I have long since known that wearing denim on denim is a crime of fashion. I did not know, however, that there is an official name for this unacceptable practice. Apparently, it's been dubbed the Canadian Tuxedo, which sounds awful even if you don't know what it is.

But alas, I digress. Let me get back on point. The Canadian Tuxedo was suggested to me as a topic I might like to write about (i.e. something I might like to hate) by a dear friend of mine who has been living in Ireland for the past two years or so. I guess I'm to gather that many Irishmen (and don't get me wrong, I would never ever diss my own heritage) have fallen victim to this trend. Perhaps that's why she suggested it? Although, judging from the sheer horrendousness of it (see picture at left - we all remember the 2001 American Music Awards, but unfortunately not for the music or the winners), I would have assumed that this abomination was American-specific.

Regardless, this is definitely something that has been on my radar. Denim on demin, even if the denim matches exactly, is never acceptable. Why wear so much denim? Why not diversify? No one is going to want to look at you if you're wearing the equivalent of a denim jumpsuit. No one is going to know where to look if you're wearing denim from head to toe. It's not just natural. Even the cowboys intermingled a plaid shirt here and there.

And don't even get me started on wearing UN-MATCHING denim on denim. There is no excuse for this. There's nothing I can even say to justify such a thing. This just shouldn't happen. Ever. If you're wearing one wash / color / shade of denim on the bottom, refrain from wearing the jean jacket of a different wash / color / shade. I'm sure there's something else in your closet - another alternative. How about some nice paisly or plaid or gingham? Anything would be preferable to an un-coorindated denim jacket or shirt.

Let me just explain where the problem lies exactly because I'm not sure I'm being 100% clear. When you wear two different washes of denim, a light wash jean jacket with dark denim jeans for example, you look like you were trying to match, but failed miserably. It just looks trashy. You look straight out of the 80s and I think this is a trend, unlike old-school Ray Bans for example, that we never ever want to be reincarnated. And especially if you're wearing a head-to-toe denim get-up and living and/or visiting New York City, you're basically screaming 'I'm a tourist from some bumblefuck town in the Mid-West, please ridicule me mercilessly, rob me, and strip me of dignity.'

So the moral of the story is that unless you're a cowboy that actually needs to wear a matching denim suit for ranching purposes (and even if you are and you do, you should change before leaving the house to attend a public function), then there is absolutely no need to ever wear denim on both halves of your body.

I HATE! Matching Velour Track Suits

eccentrichic: im going to work but how about matching track suits?
Kelirish18: please elaborate on this matching track suits thing
eccentrichic: like juicy couture
eccentrichic: the velour matching situation
Kelirish18: yES!
Kelirish18: thanks for reminding me that i hate that

As you can see from the above AIM conversation excerpt, I definitely hate matching velour sweatsuits. Let me clarify before I get fully entrenched into my rant: I only hate velour sweatsuits - not ALL sweatsuits. I fully believe in the power of a good sweatsuit; I just have a particulary deep (and unexplainable) hatred for velour in general. (Which is why I posted the above photo of this particulary heinous matching velour gymnastics outfit - You didn't know velour could be so disturbing, did you?)

I can't even put my finger on what it is about velour exactly that makes me want to vomit, but everytime I see any article of clothing comprised primarily of velour, my gag reflex kicks into overdrive. (Just imagine my horror upon once catching a glimpse of a woman traipsing the streets of New York wearing VELOUR LEGGINGS!)

So as you can imagine, matching velour sweatsuits are a no-no in my book. There's absolutely no need for anyone (no matter how JAPpy you are) to be decked out in velour. Do you want to look like a giant stuffed animal - specifically the Velvetine Rabbit? Being covered head-to-toe in a bright pink shade of that horrid fabric is simply not natural. You look like a pipe cleaner. Do you want children to come up to you and try to bend you in all sorts of fun ways? No? Well, ditch the velour tracksuit. You look dumb. Velour is disgusting. Plain and simple. (I'm speaking directly to you, Paris Hilton.)

Oh, and crushed velvet and velour are one in the same. Let's not split hairs.