I HATE! Skunk Hair

Do you know what I really hate?


No - not Amy Winehouse impersonators (although I just noticed the chic in the picture is so obviously attempting to replicate (a low-rent version of) the trainwreck / singer) - I hate Skunk Hair. Skunk Hair is what I refer to the - I guess it's an emo look - hairstyle in which some chunks of hair, usually the under layers, are dyed dark brown or black, and the top layers are dyed white or bleach-blond, resulting in the interesting effect modeled by our fake Ms. Winehouse. I hate this hairstyle - and really for no other reason than the fact that it's hideous. This look is not attractive in any way. Why would you want your hair to look like an oreo cookie, a cow, a converse all-star, a newspaper...? I could go on.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the original point of dying your hair was to make it all one color - women with greying hair could rejoice and return their stray grey strands to their natural color. How did the use of hair dye evolve so? Who deemed Skunk Hair acceptable? Where did this trend originate and why? Was it an accident? Perhaps a young emo child decided to welcome the sun into his life and opted to bleach his angsty jet-black hair to a sunny blond. Perhaps he could not recruit anyone to help him, so he tried to bleach his hair himself. And perhaps, it didn't work out so well and he ended up missing a few spots and looking like a sad, sad Dalmatian. Huh?

Although I think the more likely possibility is that some egomaniac concocted the most hideous hairstyle he could think of just to see if people would mindlessly mimic it.

I HATE! Hipsters

I think it's safe to say that living in New York City has made me slightly more sensitive to this particular issue than might be considered normal. My justification is thus: New York City and the surrounding borough of Brooklyn seemingly birthed the Hipster trend and therefore, these two boroughs boast the most concentrated population of Hipsters.

As I work in Manhattan and live in Brooklyn, I literally cannot escape the Hipster influx. But before I get ahead of myself, let me explain, for those of you who have been fortunate enough never to have come across one of these curious creatures, what exactly a Hipster is.

You can normally find a Hipster traipsing or sulking around the Lower East Side of Manhattan, New York University's Washington Square campus, or the Williamburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. The Hipster uniform consists of tight, usually black, skinny jeans topped off with a studded belt and black Converse All-Stars laced up tightly. Band tee shirts, hoodies, or leather jackets tend to complete the look. Dyed jet-black and/or spikey hair and innumerable piercings are optional, but a true Hipster (or a really-dedicated poser) will have all of the above. The Hipster sulks, or sometimes skateboards, around his chosen haunt with an air of superiority, looking down at anyone who doesn't comply with or adhere to THE LIFESTYLE.

Now, to be honest, I'm not sure exactly just what it is a Hipster does, other than shoot non-Hipsters dirty and disapproving looks. I've heard they're artsy and like underground bands and eccentric art, but really, who knows? I think they may like to skateboard as well. I'm sure there are also ALOT of posers who just try to look the part, but, like me, don't really know what the intimate details of being a Hipster entail.

Don't get me wrong - I am accepting of ALL lifestyles. I don't care what you do...as long as you're not an asshole to me as a result. And this brings me to my main problem with the Hipster: no joke, everytime I've encountered one of these so-called Hipsters, I am given a dirty, disapproving, or "You're Beneath Me" look. Just because I don't wear suffocatingly tight black skinny jeans and Converse All-Stars everyday of my life, does not make me a bad person. Just because I don't wear my hair black and spikey doesn't mean I'm not intelligent. Just because I don't rock the studded belt and leather jacket EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE doesn't indicate that I'm not capable of stepping outside the social norm.

As I said, I am no stranger to the Hipster. I went to NYU. I work in Manhattan and I live in Brooklyn. Hipsters are more common than taxis in this city. And I've NEVER met (or even just walked by) a Hipster that didn't shoot me one of THOSE looks. Seriously. I kid you not.

So I pose this question: What makes the Hipster feel as if he is so much better than the rest of us? And also, since the "Hipster Movement" has ballooned into such a huge phenomenon and all "Hipsters" now dress the same, each dressing in the same unisex uniform, doesn't that make them just as bad as the rest of the population?

Thoughts? Maybe I should take on the Hipster persona for a few days and see what new information that leads me to. Perhaps once you put on the combination of the skinny jeans, studded belt, band tee, leather jacket, and Converse you just instantaneously morph into the Hipster, both in appearance and attitude. Maybe it's like Captain Planet..."With our powers combined..." - that sort of thing. For example, instead of saying "Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Heart" you say "Tight Black Skinny Jeans, Converse All-Stars, Studded Belt, Leather Jacket, Black Spikey Hair" and then it just happens - the Ultimate Hipster appears before you in the mirror. I think I'll try it this weekend. I'm pretty sure I own all the components of the Hipster uniform. (Not that I've ever worn them together!)

Look out world - if you thought I was bitchy and insane normally, it may be about to get ALOT worse...

Hipster Liz anyone?