I HATE! Facebook Wall Fake-Outs

Have you ever gone into your email and found a message from those friendly fellows at Facebook stating that someone has written on that wonderfully glorious invention that is your Facebook wall? Here's how the rest of the scenario plays out: excitedly, you close your email account and log into Facebook, scroll through the profile where you've announced your unwavering love and dedication to Fall Out Boy and Pete Wentz, scroll down past the dozens of useless applications you've been tricked into downloading, past the so-called 'gifts' Facebook has the audacity to charge you $1 for, only to find that the alleged wall post is nowhere to be found!

The Wall is, in my opinion, one of the best features Facebook has to offer, and that's why it's so devastating when you get an email that gets your hopes up that someone has written on your wall, only to discover that it was a false alarm. Your emotions skyrocket and then when you find out the truth, your heart sinks into your stomach. It's such a let-down!

The cause of this phenomenon is clear: someone writes on your wall, the email notification is sent immediately, but then the alleged wall-poster deletes his or her comment, leaving the re-maturely sent notification sitting in your inbox, now void and invalid, and a cold, harsh reminder of your fleeting popularity.

Certainly, with all the money Facebook has spent on creating all those ridiculously irrelevant applications, there must be a dime left over somewhere that could be put toward fixing this excruciatingly annoying problem. It seems simple enough (granted I'm not computer programmer): the wall-poster deletes his comment, the email notification should also delete itself - automatically...

Now, how to get this suggestion to Zuckerberg.... He needs to know how many people's hearts he's broken with those cruel email notifications.

I HATE! When People De-Friend You on Facebook

I was a little hesitant to write on this particular topic because I don't really like to broadcast to the world how truly important Facebook is to my life. I'm a little embarrassed of how much time I spend (unintentionally) stalking people through Facebook.

The reason I bring this up is because, yesterday, I was perusing Facebook, just looking around, not cruising for any particular information on any particular person, when I stumbled upon the profile of an old flame. Actually, I didn't stumble upon it; Facebook now has a feature that shows you people you might know based on all the other people you're friends with (creeps, right?). So anyway, this fellow's picture popped up on the right-hand corner of my screen and I couldn't help myself, so I friended him. It wasn't until after I clicked the affirmative button to the question that said "Are you sure you want to friend so-and-so?", that I realized that we actually had previously been friends on Facebook (during our so-called affair), and that he had, in fact, de-friended me after things had ended kind of badly. Basically that "Are you sure?" button is there to prevent people from doing the exact idiotic thing that I had just done.

Then it occurred to me: de-friending someone on Facebook is low. Really low. You have to really really hate someone to de-friend them on Facebook, which is why I have decided that de-friending is definitely not an OK thing to do. It's just totally unnecessary. I remember when I noticed that I had been de-friended by the aforementioned boy; I was crushed and not because I was heart-broken over the end of our "romance". (OK, actually I will admit that that was, in fact, part of the reason why I was so upset, but that's not the point here!) But I wondered, did I disgust him so much that he couldn't even stand to look at my name when it popped up on his Mini Feed? Did he hate me to such a degree that he hated getting a notification that I had changed my profile picture?

De-friending someone on Facebook is the equivalent to saying: "I hate you. Never speak to me again. Your face repulses me." It's harsh! And unless, you really really mean it, you should never do it. It can leave scars.